God's Death Rattle

Last night, lying in the dark alone with my soul

I imploded. A flower curling its petals inward

Recoiling from damages incurred in Eden.

Eden...presented as a perfect state,

Represented to me an emblem of innocence, of

Willful ignorance obedient to an unexplained command.

My mind grappling--with scriptures heard from

Before I burst, sanguine, through my mother's legs--

Wrestling with the angels standing on my wings

And unlike Yaakov, releasing my hold,

Casting off the anchors

My childhood gave me with my name.

I will persevere, though I fear, though I falter,

Though I weep, feeling the loss of arms that caught me...

They are not lost. They are my arms.

Though my spirit shivers in my body at the scope of

Space now recognized as room to soar through

I am not weakened. It was my strength

That brought me here, that kept me going. Oh! how my eyes are brightened, now the gaslights

Are snuffed and I see by starlight, by moonlight, by soul light.